Speaker 1: 0:07

Welcome to Cook the Noise Wellness Simplified. It is episode 50. My name is Ben. I am with Lindsay and I have to tell you Lindsay is not doing great. She is on a sufferfest right now.

Speaker 2: 0:21

I am. I am definitely not feeling 100% Can you hear that voice it can sound like I'm not feeling 100%, but I am here and we have a really great episode to this week that we're going to talk to you about, because it really is one of our pillars.

Speaker 1: 0:38

It is, it is. And before we go there, I would just say that Paul uh is um suffering. Maddie was suffering, then I was suffering yes and now she's suffering and jam is suffering at the same time. And what makes me kind of chuckle, but not really at the same time, is when I keep saying to her like I'm maybe seven or eight days ahead of you right, yeah and you're like how you feel I'm like, I'm getting there. She's like what?

Speaker 2: 1:00

no, like you mean, I've got to put up with this for longer.

Speaker 1: 1:03

It just seems to be lingering and it's all in the head.

Speaker 2: 1:05

I can hear it when you speak yeah, and I mean I, I know from my clients and you know from your clients. It seems to be going around whether you're here in mexico with us, or in the us or canada um this.

Speaker 1: 1:15

This one's definitely a lingerer which is interesting because it kind of ties nicely into what we want to talk about. Well, isn't that nice.

Speaker 1: 1:22

It's almost like we planned it that way, you know if only we're that organized, I know I think one of the things that um and I'll introduce what we're talking about and kind of just want to keep the um conversation kind of, as always, simple. There's so much to talk about on this subject and so much of it you just don't need to know. It's only the actionable items that really matter. But we're're talking about sleep. Sleep, I kind of feel like sleep is one of those things that it almost gets the same reaction as alcohol and giving up alcohol. Don't tell me what to do with my sleep.

Speaker 2: 1:55

There's nothing I can do. That's human nature. Anyways, I know our kids specifically. We talk to them about getting enough sleep, getting up earlier, that kind of thing, and they definitely respond in a kind of pushback way like you know, I can't, I can't fall asleep or I can never go to sleep, you know, on my own, or a ton of to be a fair, a ton of a ton of clients that you work with, I work with.

Speaker 1: 2:17

I know like when we start speaking about sleep, it's like but, but, but. Yeah, it's always but, but, but like in terms of like, it's like I people actually have quite a fixed mindset about sleep.

Speaker 2: 2:28

Right If they have open mindset in other areas. Sleep is one of those things that gets pushed back.

Speaker 1: 2:33

It's like I can't change it and it's like there's actually lots of things you can do. That might not give you perfect sleep, but it certainly can set you up to be more successful, more consistently, and that's the game right Setting yourself up to be more consistently more often. And I think that's one of the reasons why, when we talked about this, we didn't want to turn around and say, okay, let's make this a lecture on the science of sleep, let's make this a deep dive into the whys we really wanted to talk more about. You know, if you focus on these things, so the 20% that gives you that 80% benefit.

Speaker 2: 3:07

Yeah, actually, I'm going to just pause you there for a second because you and I talk about the 20%, 80% often we talk about actually to be fair. It's probably one of the things that we dive into each time we have conversations about our business, our life, our own fitness. Can you just break it down for our listeners?

Speaker 1: 3:25

yes, yeah, please do. I actually think it's really important to do that and I actually think it's it. You just made me think of something else that I'm going to say, and then you can correct me, but often when we talk about eating, we'll say you want to be 80 on right?

Speaker 2: 3:38

20, 20. That's not what we're talking.

Speaker 1: 3:41

No, and I think it's really important to draw that distinction.

Speaker 2: 3:42

So in that case, to bring it in, we're talking about no, and I think it's really important to draw that distinction. Well, that's why I want you to bring it in.

Speaker 1: 3:46

We're saying you know, if you eat healthily 80% of the time, you're going to be in good shape. You don't have to be perfect. So that's not what we're talking about here. We're talking about it's actually Pareto's law. Pareto's law is that 20% of the work you do usually yields 80% of the benefits, and that can be applied to a lot of things, right? So if you think about you take 10 actions. Maybe two of those actions are going to get you 80% of the results.

Speaker 2: 4:15

Right. And eight of those actions are going to get you 20% of the results. So we're not saying that those actions that are only gaining 20% are not valid, but let's and this is where we always come back to keep it simple. Keep it simple. Let's focus on those two actions that are going to give you 80% of the results.

Speaker 1: 4:34

If you haven't got that feeling, it's like focus on these high impact actions first and skip the fluff. But once you've nailed those high impact actions, maybe start to dig into the fluff. Which which of the which of the eight can get me the next biggest advantage?

Speaker 2: 4:52

Right, and here's where we always come back to. Um, you know, everybody's journey is different. Is that Ben's going to go over and we're going to talk a little bit about these, these things, and some of you will have different 80%, 20% than the other person. Right? And you know, even Ben and I are different when it comes to certain things, and so so we're not saying so. The reason we don't just say here's your two, do those two, you'll get 80%, because everybody is different in how they do these things.

Speaker 1: 5:20

Here's, here's. I mean, we should just dig into it, yeah let's do it.

Speaker 2: 5:23

I just want to make sure people understood what you meant by 20, because we talk about it a lot, we really dig into it a lot when it comes to our business, when it comes to our own health, when it comes to our kids. But I just want to make sure that people understood it.

Speaker 1: 5:34

Why? Because we are lazy, but really what we are is we're trying to be as efficient as possible.

Speaker 2: 5:39

Right, effective, efficient, without putting in, without having to putting loads of work on stuff that gives you marginal gains and let's be honest, who doesn't want that? Like if we turned around and said you know what these two things will will give you 80 percent of your result. Why wouldn't you want to do that versus these 10 things? It's like no, it's overwhelming as well.

Speaker 1: 5:57

Yes, it's overwhelming and, like all of these things, we want to keep it super, super simple, so I'm going to go with the first. The first is the biggest impact. Actually, the one big thing that you can make a change immediately is lock in a consistent sleep schedule. So what I mean by that is Put yourself to bed like a toddler, wake up like a toddler. That is the single biggest impact that you can have immediately, and I speak to a lot of clients I'm sure you do as well that are erratic. They're all over the place.

Speaker 1: 6:27

And then they wonder why they can't fall asleep. And it's well. Last night you went to bed at 10,. The night before that was 1230. Tonight you're planning to go to bed at 11. By Friday you can't stay up past seven o'clock, you're just all over the place.

Speaker 2: 6:41

Are you talking about me right now? Wait a minute, I secretly judge you, just so you know.

Speaker 1: 6:45

Oh, I know you do, because my schedule is so locked in, and I would like to tell you that my schedule is locked in because I am so on top of things, but the reality is it's because I get up so early. Is it's because I get up so early, it has to be, otherwise I die on a morning Right.

Speaker 2: 6:58

Well, and you know what's interesting, I think I think it was last week we had kind of touched on sleep and I said that I had brought on a sleep expert um onto my YouTube channel series that's coming out soon, you'll hear about it soon enough but, um, and she is actually an infant and adolescent and pre peri and post-menopause um expert expert and what she said is exactly that we spend our life anybody who has kids spends your life. When they're little, sleep routines, sleep habits, make sure they get up on time. Did it, did it, did it, um.

Speaker 1: 7:27

now, first of all, like it's important when you're only little.

Speaker 2: 7:30

Yeah, but first of all, let me just tell you, just like we said earlier, is that we have two, two kids, and neither one of them follow the same routine, so one one was very different than the other, and that is very common in kids. Yet then, when we get to adulthood and perimenopause and all of this stuff, we automatically just forget all of that. Why is it that it's not important? Of course a structured sleep time is important.

Speaker 1: 7:53

Right. Your body thrives on routine period. The end right. So when we are-.

Speaker 1: 7:58

Even when you rebel against right when you go to bed at different times on an evening, when you're waking up at different times, it basically screws with your circadian rhythm, right? And ultimately what that means is just that natural cycle and if you think about that, that natural cycle used to be tied to. It got dark and it got light, right. In actual fact, I read somewhere at some point saying that the biggest single thing that fucked most with our sleep was the event invention of fire and electricity right, because then all of a sudden, darkness, it didn't matter right, well, and you think about that, you know, with with water, for example, right, the tides come in, the tides go out.

Speaker 2: 8:33

It's very similar to that, you know. And for those of you who are counting down the days for daylight savings to happen in march, if it's where you live, or end of March or April, whoever, wherever you are, we know how screwed up we get just by changing that one hour, and so every time you go to bed at a different time, you're basically doing that to yourself.

Speaker 1: 8:53

Right, you think about it like money in some respects. Right, like debt and sleep. Debt is where you cut into your sleep and you're not getting enough sleep, and often what people think is well, I'll make it up at the weekend, but you can't fix a bad week's sleep with a weekend sleep in just that's freaking hard to admit, just like you can't uh, you can absolutely undo your week's work of hard work on the weekend, if you are, if you're eating like it's just, is that?

Speaker 1: 9:18

a subliminal message to somebody in particular. Anybody out there listening, Wait a second. That is actually a message for somebody directly. Now what I'm going to smile about is how many people reach out to us and say are you talking about me? Yeah, exactly, Are you?

Speaker 2: 9:29

talking about me. But I think that's the thing you know and I 100% am guilty of this right, especially when sleep watches and things came into play and I'd be like, oh, I got like four and a half hours of sleep Monday through Thursday, but I got nine hours on Saturday. It must have made up that time. It doesn't make it up.

Speaker 1: 9:47

It's interesting as well, because the science is all about go to bed at the same time, wake up the same time, seven days a week. Now I'm going to talk about the other 80 percent right, and the reality is this if you can nail good sleep routines, you know sunday through thursday, so five nights a week.

Speaker 2: 10:07

We'll let you stay up at the weekend yeah, you don't have to go to bed too late.

Speaker 1: 10:10

I mean, if you can like, if you're like me, because my routine is so embedded, right yeah, we always make fun of him on friday night when he goes to bed at like 9 30 I'm sat there, desperate to be naughty and watch that next movie or whatever, and I'm just like I just can't do it and I literally lights out and lindsey looks at me and I don't know if she's embarrassed for me, kind of calling me like uh well, like an old man.

Speaker 2: 10:36

But I to be fair, I'm extremely envious of the fact that Saturday morning I'll roll over and he's already been awake and he's doing his thing. Now he's not up and with his clients et cetera, but he's. He's not dreading getting out of bed, which for me Saturday morning because I do push it on a Friday night is like I don't want to get out of bed.

Speaker 1: 10:56

I and you know what are you saying. You basically preach what you don't practice.

Speaker 2: 11:00

On the weekend, absolutely During the week, I am way better than I've ever been.

Speaker 1: 11:04

So the biggest single action item from that is simply set yourself a bedtime and set yourself a wake-up time and, regardless of how you feel, fall into that routine. It's going to take some time right, it's not going to happen on one attempt, but I'm guaranteeing if you commit to that for a few weeks you will fall into that routine and it'll profoundly change you on so many different levels.

Speaker 2: 11:26

Right. So remember what we said at the beginning if you want something that you're going to do that's going to yield 80%, this is it. This is one of those things.

Speaker 1: 11:34

I would. I would even argue if you turn off the podcast right now and just made that one change.

Speaker 2: 11:38

Don't do that. Please keep listening.

Speaker 1: 11:39

But if you did, that is how critical it is.

Speaker 2: 11:42

Yeah, that's the biggest one Right.

Speaker 1: 11:44

A hundred percent. These are in a particular order. We're going to try, and basically that's the biggest. The next one is, I think is the simplest, to basically change the game. And that is no caffeine after 2 pm. No, and that is no caffeine after 2 pm so I mean 2 pm is one of those. I always worry about these like specifics, but the idea is like shut that caffeine down early yeah, so like last night when I had a coffee at seven o'clock.

Speaker 1: 12:08

Probably wasn't a good idea, but I can also sleep with coffee and my sister yeah, so so here.

Speaker 2: 12:12

so we're going to put a quick disclaimer on this. So, first of all, the best thing to do is is assess. So and Ben just made a really good comment so I don't drink coffee. I drink tea, which of course, has caffeine in it, but I could probably have a tea two minutes before I go to bed, and I don't find that it affects my sleep. There are people who can't have a lick of caffeine after midday or they're never going to be allowed to sleep again.

Speaker 1: 12:35

What I would say though it's interesting, you and I both said that, because what I have also read is this, and this is very true Even if you sleep and even if I sleep with caffeine in our system, we don't hit the same level of regenerative sleep that we would without caffeine in our system, because that caffeine still has a certain level of arousal. So, in other words, what do I mean?

Speaker 2: 12:58

Maybe we don't hit the deep sleep that we should.

Speaker 1: 13:01

Maybe we don't get the REM sleep we should. Maybe we don't get into the same levels of recovery. So even though we can sleep, it's kind of like when you go to bed and you're drunk. It's not good sleep, it's kind of unconscious sleep. So I think it has the same kind of impact. It's like you might be sleeping but the quality is not there, so shut it down like we don't.

Speaker 2: 13:20

Like we don't, and keep in mind and Ben can talk more about this because this is new for him, which is not new for me in any way, shape or form.

Speaker 2: 13:28

I've always been a massive peer in the middle of the night, um, but I'm saying that you're outing my prostrate no I'm saying, when you have drinks, whether it's coffee, tea, caffeine, of course, that's more but water, um, you know any type of of of liquid you are more likely to wake up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom yeah, so 100 and, and you have found that and I definitely know that, and so again it comes back to that assessment.

Speaker 2: 13:54

If you find that you sleep throughout the night or, like me, you fight the bladder like there's no tomorrow and I refuse to get out of bed, then you know that's where you have to look at is it right for you? Is it good for you?

Speaker 1: 14:07

yeah, it's interesting as well. I mean, that's, that's definitely a key thing and it's really easy to do. Right, like it really is easy to do. This isn't something that takes a lot of effort. In actual fact, you're actually stopping doing something. Right, right, pour yourself a glass of water, or have some mineral water, or you know some, some something that isn't coffee I say some, or decaf right decaf's an option you know, is it worth it though herbal teas?

Speaker 1: 14:34

that's not, that's not teas with no caffeine, low caffeine, et cetera. So I mean they're the two. I would say again switch off this podcast right now, because those two would have a huge impact.

Speaker 2: 14:45

Please don't, by the way, keep listening. Are you going to keep saying that? Yeah, I am, but here's the thing, right? So we're talking about the two big things that are going to give you 80%, okay, and that, ideally, would be great, but we're going to also talk about some of these other ones, and they may yield bigger impacts for you, so keep that in mind.

Speaker 1: 15:03

We're actually going to talk about what I would say is the next big one, and then I think we should basically talk about the remaining ones as bonuses.

Speaker 2: 15:11

Okay.

Speaker 1: 15:12

So the next big one is often referred to as the three-2-1 approach or the 3-2-1 strategy, and it's actually surprise, surprise, three different things. So one of the things is kind of shutting down eating. Now, sometimes you'll hear three hours before sleep and often we tie that to like this idea of calories et cetera. But it's actually not what we want to do is we want to make sure our digestive system is empty. It's done the work. It's actually not what we want to do is we want to make sure our digestive system is empty. It's done the work. It's processed the food, because if it's processed all of the food in our digestive system, it's no longer active. It can actually truly rest. If you go to bed with a full belly, it's got a lot of work to do.

Speaker 1: 15:47

Got a lot of work to do while you're meant to be sleeping. So again, it's one of those situations where your body is not recovering because it's actually got work to do, which is digesting the food. If you go to bed with an empty digestion track, your body just gets to recover and regenerate.

Speaker 2: 16:04

Just go to sleep.

Speaker 1: 16:05

Right, and that's what it can focus on. So that's three. It's three hours, remember, we don't love arbitrary, but you get the principle closing food down early so that you're not going to bed with a full stomach. That's one thing. And people are going to turn around and say, oh well, I can't sleep if I've got an empty stomach, and so on. Again, like Lindsay said, we have to approach these based on our own personal experience, but it is science backed. So if you say, but it is science backed, so think about that and pay those two attention when you're actually shutting down eating, Right Two. Number three. Two is stop drinking two hours before bed, otherwise you're going to be peeing throughout the night, all night long.

Speaker 1: 16:45

And I often give the analogy here with clients because obviously we encourage drinking water. Water and hydration is so important for health and fitness and weight loss. But if you set yourself a goal of drinking so much water, let's say, for example, 90 ounces 60 ounces doesn't matter, but let's say 90 ounces. For this example, you could turn around to me at the end of the day and say I've drank my 90 ounces. I'm like that's great. When did you drink it? And you're like well, I drank 80 ounces.

Speaker 2: 17:11

Yeah, 10 minutes ago.

Speaker 1: 17:15

I drank 80 ounces 10 minutes ago and, like over the rest of the day, I drank the remainder. So that's why we want to try and spread our hydration out through the day and close it down, because otherwise you're going to be up and down to the washroom. Yeah, and that's one of the things you can't fully rest if you need to go to the washroom because you're going to wake up washroom back, and if you wake up, like many of my clients, and that brain of yours switches on and you are beans with an F and ends in a D.

Speaker 2: 17:36

What's that word? Yeah, you're definitely fucked, and I know, and I've been there, and so, especially if you have an overthinking brain in the middle of the night, not waking up is the best option. All right, so what's number one? So three, two, one.

Speaker 1: 17:49

Number one is we're going to. I'm going to call it one thing, but we can call it something else as well. It's get off that damn phone.

Speaker 2: 17:56

It's the blue light.

Speaker 1: 17:57

Yep, you can't TikTok and Snapchat and Facebook and Instagram Snapchat.

Speaker 2: 18:01

Who do you think we're talking to Our kids?

Speaker 1: 18:04

I don't even know, but the idea is having a 60 minute or a one hour wind down. And the best way to do that is get off those electronics.

Speaker 2: 18:12

Yeah.

Speaker 1: 18:17

Get off. Way to do that is get off those electronics. Yeah, get off them, and you all hate that, but again, this is one of those things that can have that profound impact if you implemented these three things as in three set bedtimes. What's the second one? Is you remember I'm checking?

Speaker 2: 18:30

up on you caffeine.

Speaker 1: 18:32

Well, done, I'm sick and then the three, two, one of food, uh hydration and just having that routine. That involves creating um, creating an environment that promotes good sleep and rest, and also, in addition to that, is getting off the electronics well, and I'll tell you, addicted to those, oh so addicted.

Speaker 2: 18:52

And you know we're not having this conversation because we could, we really could because people will yeah they'll probably turn us off.

Speaker 2: 18:57

But I'll tell you from my own experience. So I was never a Kindle girl. For a really long time I was like I need a book, I need a book, I need a book, which then, of course, has a lot of excuses. I didn't have a book, I didn't go to the library, I didn't buy a book, so I'd stay on my electronics. Now, as I've really dialed into my nighttime routine, my electronic goes away right. I end my night and I'll give you this I'll end my night with my Duolingo, because I have a streak that I can't seem to get rid of. Um, that's my last electronic use. I put it, I plug it in over on the fireplace, I grab my Kindle and then I have an hour of me reading a book that I really like. Guess what, with a Kindle, you have no excuses. It's there. The blue light is a lot less. I do have blue light glasses. There's things that I do, but without using my phone, right up until bedtime, right in my bed.

Speaker 1: 19:46

It makes a huge difference to my sleep quality. I'll be honest with you. I used to be. Do you remember we make the joke of? I used to turn around to you and say, watch this, yes.

Speaker 2: 19:56

I used to roll over and fall asleep. Within what Minutes? You do that now.

Speaker 1: 19:59

I know, I know and I look across and I'm like nice, but sometimes I struggle and you don't. And you've got it nailed down, but it's my nighttime routine. You've put some work into that.

Speaker 2: 20:06

Yes, I have, yes, I have, and so you know when we're talking about these. You know events or things that we're talking about, and I've told you I'm not perfect. I fight on Friday nights to go to bed at a reasonable time. I don't cut off my caffeine, but some of the things that I have found to work really, really well for me is really structured nighttime routine, and so that is the no phone that is getting my kettle ready for the next morning, that is my nighttime meditation, and without that very structured routine, I wouldn't have my watch this moments, and it's funny because I used to get so mad at him because I would struggle falling asleep, I would struggle staying asleep and I would struggle quality of sleep. Those were my three big ones, which I think are the biggest, and now I don't feel like that's a really big part of my life anymore at all. Some days, for sure, but this routine that I've created has I've put the work in to really help it.

Speaker 1: 21:00

Yeah, and that routine is key, right, and you know we could go into what that is.

Speaker 2: 21:05

But again, it's different for everybody.

Speaker 1: 21:06

It's different the idea is it's promoting a wind down versus a wind up.

Speaker 2: 21:11

Right.

Speaker 1: 21:11

So it's something that soothes you and it's different for different people. It can be a cool shower, it could be a warm shower.

Speaker 2: 21:17

Yeah, it could be a face routine. It could be. You know a sauna, I love my sauna. It could be journaling.

Speaker 1: 21:22

It could be getting things off your mind so you can go to bed not having to worry about what have I forgotten? Right, it's lots of those. Could even we should do an episode just on that we should.

Speaker 2: 21:33

But and I think the big thing with that is coming back to what we kind of said at the beginning is that everybody is very different, totally right, and I think it's important to remember that what I do for my nighttime routine might be crap for you, that's okay you know what's interesting?

Speaker 1: 21:47

I mean, I'm just looking at some of these other things and I actually think we should leave it there okay I think they're the three big easy to implement changes. Like none of those things involves doing more.

Speaker 2: 21:58

They actually involve doing less right, doing less, and you know we've talked about this in the past on this podcast where you know, sometimes it's easier to reduce, remove don't stop those kind of things versus add, you know, make it more right, because we're busy, we have a lot of things and in that case, in this case where we're talking about these ones, all of them are, um, simple I'm not going to say easy, cause I know it's not easy, but simpler to implement. And I think the most important thing to keep in mind is that, like, if you're like, okay, god, lindsay and Ben have said this so many times I'm going to look at my nighttime routine. Is it going to be perfect? No, is it going to be easy every time?

Speaker 2: 22:37

No, I was saying the other day I went to bed, probably the earliest I've gone to bed. Now, granted, I'm not feeling great and my alarm went off and I was more tired than I think I've ever been, but that's what I'm saying. So it's not always the case. So I want you to commit to something and then know that it's going to take some practice, just like everything we do. I have a test for you, for me particularly.

Speaker 1: 22:58

Is it a brain test? Cause I'm in trouble. It's actually kind of an outing us test.

Speaker 2: 23:02

Oh, okay, and I like that. As long as it's outing you, I would.

Speaker 1: 23:05

yeah, it's outing us both, actually, and it's one of those things that I don't know how we feel about it in the sense of like coming out with it with regards to sleep but what would you say, one of the biggest changes? Oh, I already know the answer to this. What is the biggest change in our sleep habit that we've made in the last two years? That's been a game game changer.

Speaker 2: 23:27

Oh my god, oh my god. And again, it's funny. I don't know, I have zero shame in this whatsoever. Our kids often laugh at us about this, but it means nothing in the grand scheme of things. So the biggest game changer for us is we actually have not only separate mattresses, we have separate blankets and separate bases right so.

Speaker 2: 23:47

So I'll backtrack a little bit. I like a really soft bed, ben likes a really hard bed, and you're like, oh, we'll just get one of those sleep numbers now. We live in mexico, mexico. It's not that easy. So we would have a bed. We had a king-size bed for many years, but every movement Ben would make it would wake me up. Every time I would move the covers and roll into them, which I know I do, it would disturb Ben. And so what we do is we now have two singles, which is very common here in Mexico is how they create a king size bed. Anyways, two separate mattresses. Mine's a really soft, beautiful bed.

Speaker 2: 24:17

Mine's hard really hard, horrible bed two separate bases. We have two twin bases. We have two twin blankets two twin sheets, twin beds, and so it's.

Speaker 2: 24:27

It's funny because the girls are always like you know, you guys, do you guys ever think you're gonna go back to? I mean, obviously I can't say never, but it is amazing. And I say that not because and anybody who knows ben and I I love him to bits. Yes, of course we still cuddle, we still do all those things, but when I want to sleep, leave me the fuck alone and let me have my sleep. And this is the thing no more movements. He gets up at 355. I don't even know he's gone right. I don't even know where. Before it would affect me, because I do, even though I I sleep well. Now I don't even know he's gone Right. I don't even know where before it would affect me, because I do, even though I sleep well. Now I don't deep, deep sleep, and so every movement, every sound, everything would wake me up. Now that we have those separate, I not even sure how we could go back, because I love it so much.

Speaker 1: 25:10

I have to admit like I psychologically felt like it was a bit weird when it first started. And I'll tell you like how it first started is a few years ago. We were moving and we were bridging a gap of two months where we went and lived in a different city for two months over the summer when the kids were off holiday. And we show up at this Airbnb and the master bedroom had two single beds pushed together.

Speaker 2: 25:33

Two twin beds With two separate sheets Yep and Lindsay and I super. Two single beds pushed together. Yeah, two twin beds pushed together.

Speaker 1: 25:35

With two separate sheets. Yep, and Lindsay and I super laid back about these things. We were like, oh, it's okay, we'll just push them together. Yep, what happened yeah?

Speaker 2: 25:41

I mean to be fair. We and this is the other part we kept them close-ish, we didn't have them completely separate because at the time Ben was snoring a lot and I wanted to be close enough that I could like knock him with my hand and if he was way over on the other side of the bedroom, that was hard.

Speaker 1: 25:55

Why did you just out my?

Speaker 2: 25:55

snoring, that just feels offensive. That was just what we were doing. We were just outing ourselves today.

Speaker 1: 26:00

Well, let me think about this.

Speaker 2: 26:01

You have to pee in the middle of the night. You have to. No, but it was completely circumstantial, right, we were in a situation where the king, the, the, there was no one bed.

Speaker 1: 26:11

It was told me to do that. If, if that had been advanced and guidance, I know for a fact I would have resisted right.

Speaker 2: 26:16

You would have probably said no, we need to be in the same bed, we need to do other things, it's a statement.

Speaker 1: 26:20

It means something.

Speaker 2: 26:21

It means our relationship is something right which of course it doesn't, and it just makes me laugh when you know I know people who don't live in the same house and they have a great relationship, which is, you know, again married couples, people who live in different, different um bedrooms because of same thing and, honestly, because sleep is so important, hence this entire podcast getting good sleep.

Speaker 2: 26:44

You make changes that you need to do to make those changes. I hate ben's mattress. He hates my mattress because I like soft, he likes hard. That's just how it is. But the fact that it's just such a wonderful change to being disturbed in the middle of the night and, honestly, 2.30 in the morning when he gets up, when daylight savings happens, it is the middle of the night. I don't like it. So it just works. It works great for us. It might not work for everybody but I love it Totally.

Speaker 2: 27:16

So it works. It works great for us. It might not work for everybody totally, but I love it totally so, basically, the first three are easy to implement with no changes.

Speaker 1: 27:19

The third one is kick your husband out of the room. The fourth one is you might have to have a conversation and explain that getting rid of the king-size mattress um, ben and Lindsay said, well, yeah, so, so again, it's kind of this idea of it.

Speaker 2: 27:31

We never would have thought to do it. And then it happened and we were in that house for two months and I've never had better quality sleep in those two months. I tell you the first step.

Speaker 1: 27:40

That's an easy step and it doesn't even have to be the. The whole step is separate covers. Separate covers Cause, what Lindsay does and I'm sure you do it, or your husband or wife or whoever is listening to this partner Really doesn't matter. Lindsay rolls into the covers and basically, as she rolls into them, wraps them.

Speaker 2: 27:58

I'm like freezing my ass off All exposed and interestingly enough, this is kind of even kicked back before that. So I bought a weighted blanket. This was probably three or four years ago now, when we still had our big king size bed. But I was like I don't want to give him part of my weighted blanket, because a king size weighted blanket first of all seems very big, very heavy, and if you know anything about weighted blankets, it's based on on um weight. So the weighted blanket Ben would need is a different than the weighted blanket I would need. So I bought a twin weighted blanket and then in our king size bed I'd have my twin weighted blanket and then our king size comforter. And I got to the point where I was like no, take the comforter I don't want to share with you, I just want my twin size well, you never shared the comforter with me.

Speaker 2: 28:39

Let's be honest, that was never something in our relationship it kind of started there and then with the twin beds and, as I said, it's just. It's not necessarily perfect for everybody, but for me and for ben, because sleep is so important, it was that thing that we did. And so when we moved into this house this is over a year ago now we were like you would have, we have to get two twin we actually bought them no, but I'm saying you have to get two twin bases anyways, because that's how it works in mexico for king size beds.

Speaker 2: 29:07

And so then I was like why don't we just get two twin mattresses? And why don't we just get two twin mattresses? And why don't we just get two? And we were both like, absolutely, let's do this. And yeah, it's been game changer.

Speaker 1: 29:16

It has.

Speaker 2: 29:16

So if you have to go to your partner and say Ben and Lindsay said no, of course not what we said, but trying these things makes a difference, I think it kind of.

Speaker 1: 29:23

to wrap up, it's this idea of we have this. We can suffer from a fixed mindset when it comes to sleep. It's like, but that won't work, that won't work, that won't work and kind of shut these things down. But it's amazing, when you try these things and I don't mean try for one night or one week even, but really try these things You'll actually be surprised what a big impact that they have. And I think that you know you particularly have worked on your sleep and, as a result of it, you sleep really, really well.

Speaker 1: 29:50

Really well and I think it's one of those things that we do have to put effort and energy into those, because if you think of the byproduct of it, when you get up you feel better. Yes, you're more likely to exercise.

Speaker 2: 29:59

More patience, less angry. Wait, what else can I tell you?

Speaker 1: 30:03

You'll make better food choices, Right? Because when you're sleep deprived, you have a tendency to move towards lots and lots of carbohydrates and sugars and things.

Speaker 2: 30:11

To pick me up drink more coffee in the afternoon, which then keeps you in this cycle.

Speaker 1: 30:17

So it's one of these things like you've got these things bedtime, wake time, caffeine right, the three, two, one around food, hydration and a one hour routine, and obviously we kind of tongue in cheek talking about what we do and we wouldn't necessarily expect everyone to go through that, but it just shows you it worked for us and these things can dramatically change the quality of sleep you have.

Speaker 2: 30:42

Absolutely All right. Well, let's wrap it up there. I think we know we could talk about sleep for a really long time because it is so important, and I think we will touch base a little bit more on nighttime routine and some of these other factors. But just remember, whatever you are taking away from this, the idea behind it is that when you are looking at what's going to work for you, what's going to give you that 80% is going to be different for everybody.

Speaker 1: 31:07

In this situation, when I'm working with clients, the number one change that I would recommend for them, straight out the gates, is simply set the same bedtime every night. Don't worry even worry about the wake up time to start it with. Just go to bed at the same time, and that's the easiest of all of these to implement.

Speaker 2: 31:26

All right, let's do it. Guys, you're listening, think about it. And again, it's not about perfection, because it's Thursday and I'm already thinking about Friday. What movie am I going to watch later? So it's not about perfection. It's about doing the best you can.

Speaker 1: 31:39

Awesome.

Speaker 2: 31:39

Excellent. Well, another episode. We appreciate your time. We appreciate every share, every download. Thank you so much as always, and we will see you next week, and we will see you next week.

Speaker 1: 31:49

Yes, you will See you soon. Bye.