Ben: 0:06

episode 43. Could the noise wellness simplified welcome? My name is ben hack and I am lindsey hack and we are clearly married oh brother and sister. That would be weird.

Lindsay: 0:17

That would be very weird we're here for the final episode of the year 2024 is almost ending and 2025 is almost here Crazy.

Ben: 0:29

It's amazing. I know people talk about it all the time, but time, as you age, definitely passes by quickly. Oh my goodness.

Lindsay: 0:34

But what are we talking about today? Because it's close to the year end, we are very much passionate about what we're going to talk about today.

Ben: 0:42

This applies. I mean, again, we always say this you know, it's december, where we're coming to the end of the year, when we're actually um, shooting this, recording this, but this applies at any time, anytime, and and I think you know, to give you a context of what we're going to be talking about is it's to slow down, to speed up, right, so it's breaking that cycle of like trying to change everything overnight oh, yeah, yeah and on a very quick note, there's going to be a lot of swearing in this one, because we were just talking about it and I think both of us just dropped a lot of F-bombs, because this is one of the hardest times of the year to deal with people who are trying to speed up and get it all done.

Lindsay: 1:21

January 1st and it doesn't fucking work. See F-bomb right out of the gate.

Ben: 1:27

I think when we upload this I have to mark a certain thing that says coarse and rude language Explicit.

Lindsay: 1:33

Explicit that's the way they fly.

Ben: 1:35

I wonder if they do that actually Well, no, I actually have to put that when I load it up, because they need to be warned of you.

Lindsay: 1:48

They do. Well, warned of me, I feel like last time you swore the most, but it was new year's resolutions. Okay, this is important to remember. They don't fail because you're lazy. They don't fail because they're they're there's so much going on.

Ben: 1:54

They really do, because they're bullshit because they are unrealistic bullshit, because they are based in no reality that is known to you, in the sense of you are trying to become someone different.

Lindsay: 2:06

Well, and you know what? The only research that actually says anything about New Year's resolutions is how 80% of them fail by February. It's the only research they have that have to do with New Year's resolutions. There's not a success rate, well, 20%. There's nothing in the research that says New Year's resolutions have any bearing on people's.

Ben: 2:23

Here's the challenge While we're listening, lynn's going to rant there, so I'm going to bring her back in line. So I want you to just think as you listen to this. I'm going to think about it. Lynn's can think about it as well. Just think about your past, right? How many times have you tried to overhaul your life in January and set New Year's expectations, only to have them come crashing down?

Ben: 2:46

every year well, I know that's your answer. Actually that's not true. But, like as we, as we think about it, we, we, we smashed new year's resolutions I don't even know how long ago. I don't make new year's resolutions now because they are bs. We put plans in place for the long term. Yeah, for the long term and so.

Lindsay: 3:02

So here here you go. This is really important to understand. Okay, the reason that resolutions fail is because we go in with that all or nothing mentality. Right, we go in with the you you're going to change all these things overnight, but you can't undo, and let's just even talk about a whole year, a whole month, a whole decade of habits in one month.

Ben: 3:22

One of the most difficult statements that comes out of my mouth with working with clients and again, I always say this, with care and love, right, with care and love is when I'm working with somebody that has weight to lose and by weight to lose I mean significant weight and there's this expectation that in the next 30 to 60 days they are going to lose 50 pounds, 60 pounds, whatever 100 pounds. And I often have to say how long did it take you to get to where you are today? Yes, and often the answer is was what you've said? It's yours decades, right? So it's like on on what?

Ben: 4:02

On what planet, realistically, are you expecting to be able to shift that in 30 to 60 days? Because it's not just the weight that we're having to deal with, it's all of the routines and behaviors and habits and patterns and emotions that have created this reality. And I think that's where New Year's resolutions come in. It's like, it's almost like we can wave this magic wand and we can make all of these changes and it's going to be great, right, that would be wonderful, like. That's like pink sky, thinking right. It's like oh, look, there's cotton candy clouds, there's like a little pig flying over and it's quite beautiful.

Lindsay: 4:38

Well and funny enough. That is number two.

Ben: 4:40

What little pigs no unrealistic goals.

Lindsay: 4:43

And then the third one, which I think is really really important, is that there's just no strategy, no system. Right Goals without a plan really are just the dreams, and we've talked about this in our previous podcast, where we've talked about having a plan, actioning that plan, and so if you have no strategy or no system, really you're going to say this stuff on New Year's Day or you're going to write it down before New Year's Day and it's going to sit in a box and get dust on it and you're not going to do anything because it's bullshit.

Ben: 5:08

Well, you know, it's like one of the things and goals can fall into this trap if we're not careful. We have to keep those goals present and the way we keep them present is we revisit them and recommit to them every single day. But often I've spoken to people that have goals and I'm not necessarily working with them as a client, but I'm saying, ok, like what are your goals? Like, what did you set out to do this year? And they can't really tell me. And the problem with that is it just shows you like the goal setting thing is very exciting. It's like, yes, it's going to be amazing, I'm going to set this goal, I'm going to feel great, it's going to change my life.

Ben: 5:43

But, like you said, there's no process or system in place to help execute that on a day-to-day basis. It's almost just like a pipe dream. I don't want to lose 50 pounds. Okay, great. So what did you plan on actually doing to lose that 50 pounds over the course of the next 12 months? Well, I wrote a SMART goal. It was specific, it was measurable, it was attainable. It was specific, it was measurable, it was attainable, it was realistic and it was timely. Okay, so did you break that down into what you have to be doing day by day, week by week, month by month, quarter by quarter, and the answer is usually no. How on earth are you going to execute that? And I think that you know New Year's bring this idea of renewal refreshing. It's a new beginning, it's a natural start of something, and I think we get carried away with just these big goals that aren't grounded in. I've done this 12 times and it's never, ever worked. So it's not a new year, it's just another year.

Lindsay: 6:35

So today we're going to talk about the slow the fuck down framework that we use with our clients do we, do we share that with our clients?

Ben: 6:44

I don't know if we necessarily say it this way this is going to be a first time for you guys.

Lindsay: 6:48

If you're listening and you're a client and you're like, oh, I've never heard it this way. So this is the thing with the slow the fuck down framework is because this literally can be anything and we talk about, if you're listening, to, this real time. Yes, new Year's is around the corner, but when we sit down with a brand new potential client, I can tell you right now, the very first thing both Ben and I have to talk about is how we have to slow the fuck down, because they're like I want to do all these things. I want to do all these things, I'm going to pay this money, I'm going to get this coaching, I want to do all these things. And we're like, okay, whoa, slow the fuck down.

Ben: 7:17

Can you imagine a situation where the first thing we have to do is slow you down? Yeah, slow you down. Yeah, it's slow you down, it's managing those expectations for you. But the slow the fuck down framework is absolutely grounded in the things that you hear us talk about, and there's four steps to it start small.

Lindsay: 7:34

That's your s okay, so start small you're going to pick one thing and we're going to change it.

Ben: 7:37

We're not going to do more have we ever mentioned starting small and focusing on the small steps before?

Lindsay: 7:43

never, never said that.

Ben: 7:44

So what's wait? So it's a step system. What's number two?

Lindsay: 7:47

so step is s is slow, is start. Small number two, which is t, is track your progress, and this doesn't mean I have to put all my stuff in my fitness pal.

Ben: 7:57

What's my fitness pal? It doesn't even matter, we're not even going to talk about it.

Lindsay: 8:00

But this doesn't mean you have to have perfection, it just means you're measuring your effort.

Ben: 8:05

You're tracking that you're completing two or three workouts a week. You've got a rough idea of how many steps you're taking.

Lindsay: 8:12

We did a podcast a few weeks ago.

Ben: 8:21

And maybe we can find it and we can put it in the show notes.

Lindsay: 8:21

But it was just a few different ways that you can track your progress not perfection your progress, but you track.

Ben: 8:24

It was a few data points. Definitely there's tracking the inputs and tracking the outputs. Right, the inputs are the things you can control, the outputs are the things you can't. So, when it comes to tracking, we're not on about some you know some labor intensive, time consuming tracking system. It's just bringing awareness to what you're doing.

Lindsay: 8:39

Are you getting your workouts in?

Ben: 8:41

And what you're not doing.

Lindsay: 8:42

Right, are you doing? And so this comes to our E of the step, which is evaluate weekly, which is exactly what we just said at the very beginning. When you write down your New Year's resolutions in the past and left them in the junk drawer in your kitchen and never came back to it, how are you ever going to know what's working, what's not working? So we need to evaluate and reflect on what's working, what's not working, what we need support with, what are we challenging ourself with and how do we tweak it?

Ben: 9:05

you know, one of the first things and we're not getting to kind of solutions here, but I'm going to throw one in anyway I actually get clients to to write or print out their goal and also why the hell it's important to them. So, just super simply on a piece of paper, it's like this is my goal and this is why it's important, and actually get them to put it on their nightstand so they can make it into a little card and every night before they go to bed they read it, and every morning when they wake up they read it.

Ben: 9:33

it takes like 30 seconds and they recommit to it every single day. So it doesn't matter what they did yesterday, if they had a great day or a not so great day, it doesn't matter, I'm just recommitting to it again today.

Lindsay: 9:45

Yeah, and that's where the evaluate comes into right. We reevaluate what's going on, so the P of step is prioritize patience.

Ben: 9:55

Is patience a thing?

Lindsay: 9:56

Oh, patience. We're going to celebrate the progress, no matter how small, and we're going to celebrate every step of the way. But going back to what we just said about potentially decades worth of habits that are not bringing you to where you want to go for your goals, why do you think that in the first week of January you're going to have all of these things change?

Ben: 10:17

Right, you know, I was thinking about it this morning. I was at the gym and doing some strength training and I was thinking about this idea of fitness is rented, right. You have to pay the rent and put the work in every single day. So, whether you're on the journey of getting fit or you are fit, you're still paying the rent every day day. You've still got to put the work in. So, when it comes to prioritizing patients, you need to be patient, because it's not just a process, it's actually a process that never ends.

Lindsay: 10:45

Unpopular fault, I know people don't like that, but it's funny. I just saw a meme the other day where it was, you know, somebody crying their eyes out. It was from the barbie movie. It was hilarious, but it was basically like realizing, once you became healthy, that you had to stay healthy. You know, and it's that idea of you know, no matter how small you're going to build on it, but if you ever just stop doing the things, you're going to go right back to where you were.

Ben: 11:10

And that is why this slow the fuck down framework works, because what we're actually trying to do is we're not just trying to lose the weight and we're not just trying to build habits that help you lose the weight. We're actually trying to build habits and routines and behaviors that you actually enjoy, that you can therefore sustain long term, and that does take patience, because it's not always obvious no, it's not always easy, and that's you know.

Lindsay: 11:32

Part of the reasons why we're here for our clients is so that when they send you a message. They're like I can't believe I stepped on the scale and I'm like okay, but let's talk about this and let's talk about how you felt in your clothes there and what looked like there and it's it's that patient. So one of the big things we want you guys to remember and this is this is good, so it doesn't matter when you're listening to this podcast is ditch the January 1st start date.

Ben: 11:55

I thought you had to start new eating regimes and routines on Monday. On Mondays, no of course not. But isn't that the only day that counts?

Lindsay: 12:04

Any day is a fresh day, right? Arbitrary dates are irrelevant, and they really are, and if you ask anybody you know it doesn't matter. I mean, I don't even know. January 1st is on Wednesday, today this year.

Ben: 12:14

Oh, it is Wednesday.

Lindsay: 12:14

Wednesday, wednesday. So you know you're ruining the start on a Monday anyway.

Ben: 12:18

Wait a second, hang on a second. Let me just get my head around this. So if it's John January the 1st and there's 31 days in December, that would make Monday the 30th, correct? Yes, it's not a good day. So what would the next Monday be? The?

Lindsay: 12:30

6th of January.

Ben: 12:31

Yeah, the 6, that's like a few weeks off. I can handle that in my brain because I don't have to do anything right now, right?

Lindsay: 12:36

And I mean obviously, hopefully you can hear the sarcasm going on in Ben's mouth. But this is the thing, right? The date is arbitrary A Monday, the 1st, so it doesn't matter when you're listening to this.

Ben: 12:58

It doesn't matter what you're doing, if you're catching up and you're listening to this, on January 8th, it is now just start. People always say to me, but it'll be easier when, and I'm always like, will it, though? Like, will it really be easier? Because, let's face it, it isn't easy making these changes. Like it's not, and we're not trying to sugarcoat that to say it is so. It's going to be hard today, or it's going to be hard on monday, or it's going to be hard on january the 1st, or it's going to be hard on march, the 17th, at three o'clock in the afternoon. The reality is it's going to be hard making that change. So you, you know it's like, get on it now.

Lindsay: 13:20

Yeah, and I think to remember too that you know this is about. You know, I hear this term all the time, you know, especially when it comes to kids or teenagers, right, everything is within a season, right? So the season of teenage world, the season of and I want you, I mean, I always laugh at that because it makes me chuckle, but it's not about today, it's not about tomorrow. It really is about the long-term investment of your health, and one of the personal mantras we use is health isn't a project, it's a practice.

Ben: 13:45

When you think about the word practice and break it down, it's practicing is something that you are constantly revisiting, trying to make progress, and it's not always linear progress, right. Sometimes it can be a step forward and a step back and a step to the side. And when you think about you know health and fitness, or eating, or you know eating healthy food, sometimes it can be a little bit like that, right it's you continue to show up and practice.

Lindsay: 14:17

You are always practicing and again, some days, with, with our dial versus our switch mentality. Some days, your, your, your dial is a little bit higher, some days it's a little bit, a little bit less, and that's okay. But so, again, practical, we always want you to walk away after listening to this with, with a practical step. Right, we want you to think about that one habit that you could start today, right, and if you're out walking right now, good job, because there's, there's something that you can do right, your why you will hear us talk about your why and, as ben said, he gets his clients to put it by it, by their, by their bed. I often get my clients to revisit it at least once every few weeks just to see if anything's changed, and then schedule five minutes right, or 25 minutes right.

Ben: 14:58

So, like you think about it, your one habit could be these guys seem to know what they're talking about. This is the first podcast I've listened to. I know that they've done 40 plus of a podcast, so my habit is I'm gonna listen to their podcast I'm gonna listen.

Lindsay: 15:11

I'm gonna listen to another episode and see if they swear as much as they did in this one. Right.

Ben: 15:15

Right, but that's the idea, right. You build that one habit obviously joking with regards to the podcast, not joking but you pick that one habit, you get it to the point where it's more routine, you feel pretty good with it. Then you pick another habit and then you go through the same process again. You think about, over the course of the year, the momentum that you can build. I mean is a massive amount of time.

Lindsay: 15:42

Oh yeah, if anybody can tell me what they were doing. January 2024, like it feels so long ago.

Ben: 15:48

Or what was important to them 12 months ago or what they thought they were going to accomplish in 12 months time that they may not have put the time, effort and energy into. But you can turn your world upside down in 12 months for the positive.

Lindsay: 16:01

Oh my gosh, the things that you could do and the changes that you could make in 12 months for the positive. Oh my gosh, the things that you could do and the changes that you could make in 12 months. You know is massive, is massive. So so, again, we want you to take your time to think this through. Re-listen to this if you need to. You're right. Really think about the idea of the slow the fuck down framework, which is your S-P-S-T-E-P, which is start small, track progress, elevate, evaluate weekly and prioritize patients.

Ben: 16:26

It's almost like we were thinking step by step yeah.

Lindsay: 16:29

Wow, long-term, consistent step.

Ben: 16:33

But Lindsay just said something and I'm just going to have to call her out on it. Actually it is. She said take your time, right, I think you should actually not take your time, because it doesn't take that much time to pick one thing that you want to work on from a habit perspective.

Lindsay: 16:46

I meant take your time, because we're saying slow the fuck down. Oh okay, good, all right. I was going to say Don't go crazy, because what I hear often.

Ben: 16:51

I have one client and she may or may not listen to this I don't know if she does, actually she has a young child but anyway, she often says when we talk about things, her first thing out of her mouth is I need to think about that. Right, you're like, what do you need to think about? And when you think about that, we spend a lot of time thinking about things, but what we don't do as well is taking action.

Lindsay: 17:16

Right Action, and I mean last week, the week before, probably the week before, probably every podcast in the last 40, whatever times we have said to you we want you to take something away from this and take action with it. And that's a really, really important thing for us, because we want you to know that listening to this podcast is wonderful. We love you, thank you. You know, writing down something to do is wonderful, great, but if you don't take action on anything, you're going to be exactly where you are this time next year kicking yourself because you didn't do anything about what you wanted, right.

Ben: 17:47

So think about what you can achieve over the next 12 months. Right, increase that time horizon, put a plan in place to what is my goal and then break that down into manageable small steps where you can track the progress. You can reflect on it each week and then you can prioritize that patience and what you do in the progress. You can reflect on it each week and then you can prioritize that patience and what you do in the following week. Right, see it as a like lindsey said, see it as a health is a project it it's, it's a practice. Or health isn't a project, it's a practice, right. It's not something that you're just going to nail in the next six weeks.

Lindsay: 18:20

Right, it's something you're just going to work on right, and if you're sitting here listening and this is like the third or fourth episode and you're just like, oh my gosh, you guys make so much sense, but I just don't know where to start, how to do it. We understand, and that's why we're here, and that's why we work with our clients and that's why we offer how we help people programs and different coaching options.

Lindsay: 18:38

So if you're just curious on how that could be, how we could help you reach out to us, come on to Instagram. Focus on bringing your questions to us, because we're here to help and support.

Ben: 18:50

You know, and we've talked about this in the past before, but it's this idea of like asking for help is not a weakness.

Lindsay: 18:55

Not a weakness, especially when you can actually save time, understand what you're doing and move forward.

Ben: 19:00

A lot of people have tried and not been successful by themselves, and the question is, if you're going to try by yourself next year, what's going to be different? You've really got to ask yourself that, and that's not just about us trying to promote what we do. I mean, ultimately, we're here to help the people that see value in working with us. But if you actually think about it, if you've tried to do something with regards to improving your health, your fitness or your food over the last, however many years and never really managed to make any progress that stuck long term, then maybe the missing piece is getting that support, outsourcing that discipline and getting somebody to walk you through that journey and be your coach, and maybe that is the missing piece that you need.

Lindsay: 19:41

Right.

Ben: 19:42

And we have coaches. Yep, I have a coach, you have a coach, you have a coach yep and that is it. It's it, there's value to it. So I think that could be the missing piece, right?

Lindsay: 19:52

so, if it is, reach out, let us know, and if it's not, and that's okay too, as I said, we're just here. Keep on listening. We're hoping to give you lots of action steps, even as we move into 2025, which will will that be our season two? Do you think 2025?

Ben: 20:06

No, I was thinking that 12 months would be a season two, so that would be like 52 episodes.

Lindsay: 20:14

Okay, well then continue listening to the new year, which will still be season one of our episodes, but we will see you in another week.

Ben: 20:22

Maybe you should debate that actually off air and come up with a plan for that, because that's just. I just I don't know. Actually the answer is I don't know okay, well, we don't know.

Lindsay: 20:30

Not. Not not unusual for us not to know things or bring things up in the middle of our podcast. So we will see you next week. Uh, reach out, have a fantastic new year's not new year's resolutions, but new year's and we'll see you again soon yes, we will speak to you soon.

Ben: 20:43

Bye.