Ben: 0:10

welcome, welcome, welcome.

Lindsay: 0:12

We are ben and lindsey with cut the noise, wellness simplified, and it is episode number 33, 33, which is amazing we love that and again, every episode, we tell you how grateful we are. We think it's amazing that you're taking this time to sit down and listen to us. We appreciate every download, every share, every comment, every question that we get, so keep them coming.

Ben: 0:34

Yeah, exactly, and today we're actually going to jump straight into, I think, what we're going to talk about and there's going to be a challenge for you and I this is a big one because one, if you know, ben and I at all, both of us talk a lot with our hands.

Lindsay: 0:45

So that's the first thing.

Ben: 0:46

Do we the?

Lindsay: 0:47

second thing is this is going to be verbal. You're going to be hearing it versus seeing it. So we're going to do our absolute best to explain what we're trying to say in a very easy to understand way, because, of course, everything that we talk about is about simplified. This is a concept, it's a mindset concept that can feel confusing, so we're going to maybe talk a little bit slower. We're going to give you more examples to kind of help you. We're going to do Ben's opinion on how to explain it, my opinion on how to explain it, and our hope is that we hit home with everybody.

Ben: 1:17

So, first of all, it's a mindset thing. A mindset thing, and I think it's a shift like we'll just describe it from a high level perspective. It's a shift from one way of thinking that doesn't serve to a new way of thinking that does serve, and it's actually a relatively simple shift. It's a relatively simple concept.

Lindsay: 1:40

Yes, so a concept to shift. So part of what we want to do today is we want to explain these concepts to you, and then we're going to give you tons of examples and I think the examples always help, one, to understand what the concept is and two, to find something that actually might fit into your current existence right now.

Lindsay: 1:57

So if you're listening while watching, you know I don't know what you're doing walking dishes, whatever. Hopefully one of our examples will really hit home for you and you'll be like, oh, that's what it means we want to keep it simple.

Ben: 2:08

Surprise, surprise. Obviously that's what we try and do, and this is one that we want to keep simple, so you don't have to figure out how do I apply that right? And I think that's that's going to be the challenge for you, and I actually is. It's actually a very straightforward concept, but we just want to make sure that we don't confuse you more.

Lindsay: 2:24

Yeah, so we're okay. So let's start this. So we're going to talk about the be do have concept.

Ben: 2:30

So let's talk about that, just to give you an idea. The idea of be, do have, and that be, do have mindset is very much about embodying change and transforming your reality. So what do I mean by that? It's the belief that I'll be the person I want to become. Do what they do and have the results.

Lindsay: 2:50

Absolutely. But here's the problem Most people live in the have do be world.

Ben: 2:59

Which is waiting for change and it's unrealized potential. So that belief really is when I have X, I'll do Y and then I'll be Z. So you're probably going to turn around to me, Lindsay, and say, well, give me an example, right?

Lindsay: 3:14

I don't like A, b, c. X Z because it's hard to sometimes put in what that means. So I like examples.

Ben: 3:21

When I have time, I'll do more food preparation, and then I'll be able to eat healthier.

Lindsay: 3:28

Right, and this is probably something we hear all the time.

Ben: 3:32

Right.

Lindsay: 3:32

Right. So that is the have do be concept. We think if we have more time we'll be able to do the thing. So if you think about have is I will have these things time I'm going to be able to do these things food prep and then I'm going to be the person who meal preps.

Ben: 3:48

Right.

Lindsay: 3:48

Okay, but the problem with that lies is that you're waiting to be and do these things. It just it makes it harder for us to get what we want done.

Ben: 3:58

So, when we go back to the approach that we're trying to adopt, which is the be to have, it's the approach where we start embodying those traits and actions of the person we aspire to be. So we're not waiting, we're actually doing those things right now, because when we be the person we want to be and do the things that that person that we want to be does, then we actually get to have the things that that person that we want to be does. Then we actually get to have the things that that person has right.

Lindsay: 4:28

So, as example, back to time, meal prep and and and meal planning is that if?

Lindsay: 4:33

you want to be the person who meal plans, you have to do the things that a meal planner would do, and then you will have the time to enjoy the food and get the results and all of the things that we're looking at doing, and so by changing that perspective just a little bit, you can see it's have, do be that's the old mindset to be do have, which is a new mindset. It is a really small shift. However, it's a completely changed way of looking at it.

Ben: 4:59

I think the do you tell me I'm going to come up with an on the spot kind of idea of how to kind of explain this super simply, and I think it's like mimicking right. You mimic the person you want to be and you mimic the things that they do. And if you mimic their actions and the things they do, then you ultimately will move yourself towards getting what they have.

Lindsay: 5:25

Absolutely. I always use the example as the Rock and anybody who doesn't know Dwayne Johnson. He posts on Instagram about his food and his cheat days and his crazy workouts and you know, I really respect him and I think that if I wanted to not necessarily be him in that sense, but I would have to look at the things that he's doing I would have to become the person that he is.

Ben: 5:46

And now, if the rock doesn't?

Lindsay: 5:47

you know, sit with you, that's fine, but there are people out there. I know a lot of people have said to me and Ben that you know they would love to be able to do things quote, unquote, the way we do it. Right, but the reality is you have to change that mindset from the have do be, which is you know not where we want to go and switch it to become that person.

Ben: 6:06

Well, I think the, when we look at the have-do-be, which is the mindset that we currently doesn't serve us, you know, we're waiting and that's an external thing. We're waiting for that perfect moment, or we're waiting for a quieter time in our life, or we're waiting for more motivation. Right, we're waiting for something to happen to us.

Lindsay: 6:28

Yeah, so some examples that we hear quite often is when I have that job, when I lose that weight when I gain that energy, when I have that time, when I live there, when I earn this money. Those are all the things that we start, but we're waiting to do anything until that happens. Right, we often hear people say you know, when I lose weight I'll go to the gym, because then I'll feel more comfortable in the gym.

Ben: 6:51

That's the mindset. Problem with that mindset is the outcome that we get is it leads to procrastination, leads to excuses and, ultimately, it leads to missed potential, right, right, because we actually never take action, because the circumstances that we're waiting for never present never present and, and remember, you will always say this it's not about perfection, right, it's about.

Lindsay: 7:15

It's about trying and figuring out what works. And so, for example, you know, we hear, you know I'll feel confident, confident once I lose weight, if you can flip that to say that, to be confident now, I'll do the workouts consistently and eventually have the body I want, right. So you're switching that perspective. You're not waiting, you're taking action now because, as you've probably heard us talk a thousand times, is taking the action, the baby steps, consistently over time, is what helps get the change that you're going after.

Ben: 7:44

Right. So it's about taking control, yeah, and it's about doing the things and being the person now that you want to become. So it's ultimately. You don't have to earn the right and do these things to get to where you want to get to. You can do those things now, which will get you to the things that you want to get to.

Lindsay: 8:02

Right and you can also prepare yourself right, and so, for example, if you want to be a morning person or you want to get your workouts done in the morning, one of the things that we often talk about and actually I was laughing at Ben this last night is he was literally wearing his workout shirt for tomorrow, this morning's workout because he was preparing himself successfully to get out of bed and do his workout super crazy early in the morning.

Lindsay: 8:25

so instead of us waiting for when I become a morning person, I will get up and do my workout prepare yourself to be that person by wearing your clothes to bed or having them on the floor, when you can just see them as soon as your light goes off you know why I do that right it's easy I know well it's.

Ben: 8:40

It's actually deeper rooted than that it it is makes life easier. Number one when we used to live in Canada and it was freezing cold in the middle of winter, the idea of taking my warm clothes off and putting my cold running gear on.

Lindsay: 8:54

We live in Mexico now.

Ben: 8:55

Hey, it's a habit and it's a habit I'm quite happy with.

Lindsay: 8:58

See, the difference now is I keep the clothes on, I step out of bed and it means that I have I'm more efficient with my time totally and I love that and that's why I'm saying hey, a lot of my clients.

Ben: 9:12

I turn around to them and say I don't give a crap if you show up and work out in your pajamas and I'll tell you a ridiculous amount of people. Do take me at my word on that one. I have one rule and one rule only. Do you know what it is? Wear a bra, no, no, well, you have to wear clothes oh well, the bra clothes, that's the bra is a personal choice, right like that's.

Lindsay: 9:32

That's a personal choice off topic a little bit, but here's the thing. So we're talking about changing that mindset to that beat you have. But again, you can't just say the words and expect that change. You do have to take the and that's what I mean by putting the clothes out or wearing your clothes to bed, becoming that morning person.

Ben: 9:49

Right. So, like, our actions shape our identity, mm hmm, and our identity shapes our outcomes, right? So, if you think about that, right, we take the action and that leads to the outcomes we're looking for. And I think that's the key is it's just taking action, right? I mean, if you want to boil this down, do the things that a person that has what you want does Right, and you'll get the things that they have. Right, and it's interesting, right, so be is the first one.

Lindsay: 10:16

So you need to be the you want does right and you'll get the things that they have right and it's interesting, right, so be is the first one. So you need to be the person but do is the action item right. So being the person to say you know, I will do this when I have time, okay, but let's be honest, everybody has the same 24 hours in the day. So in order for you to do the things you want to do, you need to be the person who says 24 hours in my day, I can find and prioritize whatever it is I want to do. You need to be the person who says 24 hours in my day, I can find and prioritize whatever it is I want to do, whether it be workouts in the morning, whether it be meal prepping, whether it be finding time to meditate, whatever it is. You have to be that person, you have to do that action and then you'll have what you want.

Lindsay: 10:49

And oftentimes we take it the other direction where we're waiting, we're waiting, we're waiting, we're waiting, and you'll never get anywhere when you wait.

Ben: 10:57

I think the biggest example that we see most often is this idea of I don't have time right, so I don't have time to work out. Well, the people that are working out are just as busy as you are.

Lindsay: 11:07

They don't have time either.

Ben: 11:09

They don't have time, they make time right, so they are the person that prioritizes making time to do the work that they know they need to do.

Lindsay: 11:20

Right and that really can be fill in the blank for anything. That could be workouts, that could be eating right, that could be meditating that could be anything that comes along in the healthy habits that we want to focus on. And the reality is, this mindset shift will help your mind really understand the difference between the have do be, which is what we've been saying, versus a be do have, which is what we want, but it's the action that trumps it all.

Ben: 11:44

So it's the mindset shift fuels that immediate action. That's the key piece. And then it starts to align what we do day to day, in terms of our habits and routines, with what you want to achieve long term. Yeah, so you just become yeah well, I am a successful person. I work out three times a week and I eat healthy. That's who I am. Now I line up right my doing with that with that person yeah, and it's interesting.

Lindsay: 12:13

So another example and again I love examples because I'm a visual person and I like to see this is that sometimes we hear people say you, you know once I see the results. I'll stay motivated.

Ben: 12:23

This is a big one. This is once I see the results.

Lindsay: 12:25

I'll stay motivated, but if you flip that to be. If I am to be disciplined now and do the small habits every day, then I'll have the long term results every day, then I'll have the long-term results.

Ben: 12:40

I think that's a it's a tough mentality for all of us, because what we're saying now is we're going to put the work in and we're going to be confident that the results come in time right, and that's such a a different mentality to modern day convenience and convenience life. It's like I do the thing now and I get the thing.

Lindsay: 12:54

I put it in the microwave I put one minute and now I have.

Ben: 12:56

I need a new sofa and I get it on credit.

Lindsay: 12:58

Right, I go and I grab it without having the microwave.

Ben: 13:00

I want a new car and I basically lease it and get it flipped this weekend. So it's like that immediate gratification and like all things, when we think about anything that we've achieved in our life. It really has never come immediately. We've had to put some work in it, whether it be your career your degree, whether it be you know any example that you've got?

Lindsay: 13:21

relationships. You know anybody who has kids.

Ben: 13:24

You know those type of things I'm not sure there's an end to that.

Lindsay: 13:27

We're in teenage world right now, guys. So, so this is, this is our life, but all of that is part of the idea of habits and and really, when we, when we talk about habit transformation, which is what you would be doing to get the things you want to have, is that finding what works for you, and we always come back to this and I feel like a broken record sometimes because, just because I say that you know this might work, um, and somebody else says that might not work.

Lindsay: 13:54

It really depends on what works best for you. Yeah, right, and it's super important to remember that and you know, that's why we offer personalized not out of you know, it's not a cookie cutter, out of the box solution for any of our clients with any of our programs, because everybody is so different I have a question for you, and this is just something I'm bringing up now.

Ben: 14:11

I'm just curious as to your opinion. So everyone's listening to this, like lindsey is for the first time hello everyone.

Lindsay: 14:17

I'm with you.

Ben: 14:18

I'm always nervous what is he gonna say? What is he gonna say? But I'm just thinking about as we talk about it. We talk about ultimately transitioning to that be do have model. Right, we're always about simplifying, so I'm going to simplify it one step further and I'm going to call it the do have model, the do have, the do have. And what I want to think about that is, if you think about where you want to be in five years time with regards to your fitness, what are you doing in five years time to have the body, the energy, the confidence, the whatever you want to speed? What do you want to put on that? Whatever it is, what are you doing, like? What is enabling you to have the body and life that you want?

Ben: 15:01

start doing that now yeah and I think it's like simply, as you do the things today, that'll get you what you want long term. That's the simplest way to break it down in my mind when I hear what do you think about that?

Lindsay: 15:13

yeah, no, I think it's very, very true and you know it's interesting. So, ben and I I have been in the business world, in our in our own business for a long time, and growth mindset is such a big part of that, and we've talked about this before and this makes so much sense. If you want to look long term for your business for example, five years down the road what are you doing five years down the road to make sure that you're doing exactly what you need to do? It's the same with health, right. It's the same with fitness. We want to see and I'll give you a really, really clear example of this I have a client whose mom is about 25 years older than she is and so she's in her late sixties and she's really struggling with momentum and mobility and problems with her body.

Lindsay: 15:53

And my client is saying in 20 years time, I want to not be that person. So she wants to be a person who is independent and mobile and strong and all of those things. So now we're focusing with her on what she needs to do today to ensure that in 20 years time, she is not her mom.

Ben: 16:13

Genius. Right, I love that example Because it just immediately thinks about an example of a client that I have whose parents are struggling with health related issues. Right so, you've got a perfect example of what life could look like, right so when you look at what is being done, what they're doing and what they have, right, if you, if you want motivation or fuel on the fire, you do something different.

Lindsay: 16:39

Right, and in this instance we're talking looking at the negative, which is the parent's age and then flipping it to what you would want to do from a positive. So in my client's case, she wants to still be hiking, she wants to be moving, she wants to be traveling, she wants to be doing all these things which her mom currently can't do. So now that we know what she wants, to be right, she wants to be this person. Now what do we have to do to make sure that she can do?

Ben: 17:04

it. It's really interesting when we start, when we start to look at generational kind of identity, because if you think about what you've just said, you've got an example here of you know it's. This isn't meant to be disrespectful to any of our parents generation or older generation, but we we've seen what they've done and we know where that ends. So we have a really real life example of if you look at your parents and that might be your future Right, so you have an opportunity to make a decision right now. Okay, I want to be different in a different position, so you have to do different things, right, right, so that's that. But also and this isn't meant to be a psychological head how do I say Fuck Head, fuck, right, but the reality also is now, take yourself and put yourself in your kids shoes. So when the kids look at you, what role model are you actually presenting to them? So are they looking at you and saying that's who I want to be and that's what I need to do to have what they've had?

Lindsay: 18:06

Or are they looking at you and saying I don't want to be that, and that's not what I'm going to do.

Lindsay: 18:11

I mean that's't want to be that and that's not what I'm going to do, and I mean that's that is crazy right, we were just talking about our kids and you know what we want for them growing up and what you know, as you do, as parents talking about it, and I mean, I know for a fact that our kids look at us in the sense of you know there's other people, other parents, our age, that they can't believe that we're the age that we are, and so there's all these things that of course, you know, make me feel really good, but at the same time, is the key to our legacy right?

Lindsay: 18:37

This is what we're talking about. I look at my mom, um, you know, and I look at even my dad. They're very different scenarios, but the idea of what I want and what I don't want, and that's the same that our kids are doing to ourselves and your kids are doing to you, and and so we are teaching them right, we are showing them. It's not just with our words, it's with our actions it's actually not with our words.

Lindsay: 18:58

The words mean nothing. I mean if you have teenagers, you know the words mean nothing, but it's they're watching everything we do it's interesting.

Ben: 19:04

You just said something there that kind of just made me think, and it was the idea of, like, what do we want for our kids, right?

Ben: 19:11

which is a question as parents we ask ourselves all the time regularly are we spending as much time saying what don't we want for our kids? And if you're in a situation where you've struggled to prioritize health in your life or you've struggled to, you know, moving your body, you've struggled with issues around health, right, that are lifestyle related issues that are being passed down. That is the legacy, potentially. And if you look at the statistics around childhood obesity and how that's passed down generation to generation, you know. Again, this isn't meant to kind of push out guilt, because nobody needs guilt's not constructive in this space whatsoever but it's just a fact and a reality is like somebody has to break that link, break that generational chain, right.

Lindsay: 20:01

Right, and we, you know it's. I'm sure, if you've listened to me talk, I'm sure, ben too, you've heard about a lot of our, our, our long-term passion is to change the generational legacy. So we have a client who, you know, as a grandma right now, is doing things that she never did as a mom. So as a mom, she was, you know, on the sidelines. You know she was never in her bathing suit, she was never helping with the kids, because she always felt so self-conscious, energy drained, hated her body, all of those things. Now, as a a grandma, she has kids, her kids have kids, obviously grandma um, and she's now helping to break that because she couldn't do it as a mom but now, as a grandma, she can and that, like I, get goosebumps thinking about the generational legacy that she is trying to leave behind totally, and, and you think about it, sometimes we'll have the conversation of what are your goals, right?

Ben: 20:54

Well, I want to look different or I want to lose 10 pounds, but when you think of the big picture, right.

Ben: 21:00

I want to change my grandchildren's grandchildren's lives Of course, the generational switch, where you change things, but also you can bring it back to the fact that I want to feel good, I want to feel energetic. I want to feel good, I want to feel energetic, I want to feel confident, I want to just be comfortable in my clothes. Like I want to be able to reach my potential. They're meaningful as well. Significant, right, you combine those two and I think a lot of the time, like I want to lose 15 pounds, it's like, well, it'll be good to lose 15 pounds if you need to lose 15 pounds, but that's why we always talk about what is the real reason, what is the real reason.

Lindsay: 21:35

And again, going back to this client, you know she was saying her granddaughter had asked her if she wanted to go for a run and she was like in tears because that would never have happened with her kids, because she was never in that place. And now her grandchild is asking her to go for a run and they're having this amazing relationship.

Lindsay: 21:52

And coming back to what we were saying about our kids, or our grandkids for that matter, her grandchild is probably saying I want to be like me, mom grandma, I don't know what they call it, whatever the name is when I grow up into that age. And that's the B do you have. That's what that comes from, right. That person, the grandchild, might be looking at grandma and saying I want to be that person when I'm that age and I'm going to do these things and I'm going to have that, and that's the shift.

Ben: 22:17

So the shift simply is, in its simplest form, is do the things today. Take the daily actions and habits and routines of the person you want to become.

Lindsay: 22:28

Yes, and if you need some support on who that person is, that's where we can also come in and help you. Maybe you don't have a role model in your life, maybe you don't have somebody to look up to. I mean, there are celebrities, of course, there's people around you, but finding that person is so important because then you can mimic their habits right. There's not a single thing out there in the entire world because this is, you know, getting woo-woo-y, but there's not a single thing out there in the entire world that doesn't exist.

Lindsay: 22:55

So what do I mean by that? It means that somebody has exactly what you want working the same job as you, working the hours that you do, having the priorities that you have, and they're doing something that you want. Go after that person and mimic them.

Ben: 23:06

So what I'm hearing you say is that plagiarism in health is the perfect solution is legit, allowed and just go off and copy the person that lives the life that you want to live as a whole, but we're just going to get off topic.

Lindsay: 23:21

That way, I feel like business life. I mean, people are doing things that other people are doing all the time, and as long as you don't just word for word copy it. You know there's no unique solutions out there anymore. Nothing is unique. Everything has come from somewhere.

Ben: 23:34

So back to Don't reinvent the wheel.

Lindsay: 23:37

And, honestly, this is what we hear a lot of the time is that you know. One it can't be that simple. Two I need to find a better way. We have the way it works. We've seen success. Not only have we seen success on ourselves. We've seen it with hundreds of clients. We work with our kids. We have clients that are children. We have clients that are grandparents. We do all of those things and it works. Don't reinvent the wheel.

Ben: 24:03

And I think in closing, you know what I would say and you should have a closing comment as well but when I think about all the clients that I've worked with that have built healthy lifestyles, that have got fit, that have lost a lot of weight and are effectively a different person today than they were when we first started working together, when we actually compare how they move and how they eat versus how they moved or didn't move, as the case might be and how they ate, it's actually not that different. Yeah, of course there's differences, but you're not looking at somebody and you're saying I don't even recognize that person. The change between where you are and where you want to be is not as significant as you would imagine.

Lindsay: 24:40

No, and you think it's big, you think it's monstrous, but the truth of the matter is is that again, it's those small changes over time that make the difference. There's not that massive like holy. So again, to wrap up, we hope you take away the fact that if you can just kind of switch that mindset to the bead, you have find somebody to mimic and not reinvent the wheel and if you need help.

Lindsay: 25:01

You know where to find us. Ask the questions, reach out. We have programs, we have coaching. We're here to support you do the shit today.

Ben: 25:08

Yeah, that you know you need to be doing yeah, exactly, exactly, guys, until next week.

Lindsay: 25:13

Have a fantastic week and we'll speak to you later yes, we will speak to you soon.